[Minatsuki's about to laugh incredulously, until the retching resumes. There's a pause. The sound of her letting out a strange noise that's a cross between a growl and a sigh.]
It's Jean, right? [LO AND BEHOLD, GIVEN NAME USAGE! She sounds vaguely exasperated.] What the fuck did Eren do now that's put his fucking life at risk?
I think I gave him something that expired. I don't know! It was a prank, he wasn't supposed to actually–[Eren says something in the background.]–Shit. Hold on. He puked on his roommate's sheets. We're going to try and clean them.
[Another round of silence. The sound of a faucet being turned off. A slapping noise, which is her facepalming.
Honestly, she is surrounded by idiots.] Monkey see, monkey do. Ever heard of that expression? If you're gonna fuck with someone, make sure your goods ain't tainted. What the hell did you give him, who the hell is his roomie, and where the hell are you fucktards at---
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It's Jean, right? [LO AND BEHOLD, GIVEN NAME USAGE! She sounds vaguely exasperated.] What the fuck did Eren do now that's put his fucking life at risk?
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Honestly, she is surrounded by idiots.] Monkey see, monkey do. Ever heard of that expression? If you're gonna fuck with someone, make sure your goods ain't tainted. What the hell did you give him, who the hell is his roomie, and where the hell are you fucktards at---
[Pause.]
---Hold up. Did someone just scream?
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[A beat in which (unseen) Jean and Eren trade looks of fear re: the scream. Hastily:]–Room N309!
[AAAAAAAND HANGING UP GOT SHIT TO DO LIKE NOT DIE BY REDHEADED GIRLYMEN]