[ He's okay with being a monster. Mostly. Like he'd been when he'd seen her powers— it ultimately didn't matter. What did was that her Branch of Sin and his shifting gave them power, made it so he might not have to sit back and watch anyone else die. That humanity might progress— his own monstrous life was a small price to pay for it.
But then his hand grips too tightly around Armin's, the texture of his skin all wrong— right now, it felt like nothing'd changed at all since he was a kid, slung over Hannes' shoulder.
His teeth work at his lip, threatening to split the skin before he sits up and looks at Minatsuki. She was alive. Mikasa, the rest of the Survey Corps, Annie— they were all alive. He'd failed Armin, but if he stays like this he was doomed to make the same mistakes (again and again, until there weren't any bodies left to lose). She was loyal in a way he couldn't understand, because she shouldn't be; she had no reason to stand by him, or risk her life to help his friends. To prioritize anything over her own life. To get a shallow grave's dirt on her hands.
But she had.
The world wasn't fair, but he'd accepted that. Because there's still work to be done and causes to win and people to save. He gives Armin's hand another squeeze, breath hitching in his throat as he gets to his feet. ]
Yeah.
[ He lets go, hand settling against the cover to shut it again. He'd have to come back and gather his gear, burn the body— but for now, he lets Armin rest. ] I'll use it to destroy them. The Titans... and COMPASS too.
[ One of his bites starts to close, unbidden. Steam lifts off the wound in a thin wisp, and he rubs at it with a low growl. ] Leaving us with these powers was a mistake, and we're gonna make the most of 'em.
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But then his hand grips too tightly around Armin's, the texture of his skin all wrong— right now, it felt like nothing'd changed at all since he was a kid, slung over Hannes' shoulder.
His teeth work at his lip, threatening to split the skin before he sits up and looks at Minatsuki. She was alive. Mikasa, the rest of the Survey Corps, Annie— they were all alive. He'd failed Armin, but if he stays like this he was doomed to make the same mistakes (again and again, until there weren't any bodies left to lose). She was loyal in a way he couldn't understand, because she shouldn't be; she had no reason to stand by him, or risk her life to help his friends. To prioritize anything over her own life. To get a shallow grave's dirt on her hands.
But she had.
The world wasn't fair, but he'd accepted that. Because there's still work to be done and causes to win and people to save. He gives Armin's hand another squeeze, breath hitching in his throat as he gets to his feet. ]
Yeah.
[ He lets go, hand settling against the cover to shut it again. He'd have to come back and gather his gear, burn the body— but for now, he lets Armin rest. ] I'll use it to destroy them. The Titans... and COMPASS too.
[ One of his bites starts to close, unbidden. Steam lifts off the wound in a thin wisp, and he rubs at it with a low growl. ] Leaving us with these powers was a mistake, and we're gonna make the most of 'em.